This last week in my class we were talking about family crisis and the family under stress. We had a good example of how a crisis can be an opportunity as well as dangerous. In life we are faced with many crisis or difficult situations in our families. These come across in ways such as a loss of a child, death of a loved one, hardships that come on the family. All of these can either strengthen a family or cause the family to be destroyed in some way.
Some of these situations can be easier if we rely on our faith in whatever religion it is. Being LDS I know what is called the plan of Salvation and that through the temple families can be together forever. Now that doesn't mean the pain goes away. I had a recent experience in my own life that has been hard. At times I have been distant from my sister and it wasn't until his death that we have talked a little more. This may be because I just lost him this month. In this situation that has become difficult I have found more connection in the last little bit with her. Even though I know this plan my father was not a member of the LDS church. But what I feel is that he will accept the gospel. Knowing this can bring me peace in my life. It still doesn't take away a loss of a loved one but coping can make it easier.
What I am trying to get at is in these crisis's we have we must have some type of plan. Now don't plan every trial but realize when hard things come what will you do? Will you get upset with a spouse or loved one? Will you blame yourself for the things that happened? What will you do when the hard times come. One thing I will do is always turn to the Lord and then to my wife for the support I need. She will be my greatest strength in the trials we face together. If I trust in the Lord I can be comforted in the trials I face. I will not turn from the people I love but turn toward the people that I love.
My Beautiful Family
Monday, November 16, 2015
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Safeguards In Marriage
This week I want to talk about how we can prevent infidelity in our marriage and some tips to safeguard ourselves from it. I hope I still have your attention after the first sentence. Infidelity? why would many of us care? Most of us probably feel a strong connection to spouse and say I would never cheat on my spouse. What is Infidelity though? As defined in the dictionary Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to your spouse. There are four types of affairs they are fantasy, visual, romantic and sexual. This may shock some who think of an affair just as romantic and sexual. We can also be unfaithful in a fantasy with someone or visual such a pornography.
Now the point is not to talk about Infidelity and the four types of affairs but to say how can we avoid these dangerous waters? Some may be thinking still but my spouse loves me and is faithful and won't do this. You are probably right they wont but it isn't impossible. So what are some steps we can take to protect our marriages? Let me first illustrate a story "A wise father recounted this story to his sons:
Once there were three men each trying to secure a job as a teamster (wagon driver). The freight company only wanted to have the very best drivers for their wagons, so they gave each potential driver a test. The test was to drive a wagon up a steep mountain road where one side of the road was a cliff. The first driver, eager to show his superior skills as a driver, drove the wagon up the road with the wheel of the wagon right on the edge of the cliff. The second driver was even more impressive; with great skill and dexterity he managed to drive the wagon up the road with half the wagon wheel teetering over the edge of the cliff! The third driver was not so talented and drove the wagon as far from the cliff as possible.
Who got the job? The third driver, of course.
With wagons as well as with marriages, the moral of the story is the same: If our cargo is truly precious (and it is), we will drive our wagon as far from the cliff as possible.
This story illustrates to us boundaries. The boundary was clear don't go off the cliff or you lose the cargo.
"Often we think that affairs primarily happen when spouses do not love each other enough, when the marriage is bad, when sexual intimacy is suffering, or when a more attractive alternative comes along. But affairs are not primarily about love, sex, or attraction, they are about boundaries; where we draw the line. Dr. Shirley Glass, in her book, Not "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal (2003), points out that affairs are more about boundaries than anything else."
So what are some of these wise walls? They are as follows
Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.
• Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative. This develops deep levels of intimacy.
• If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.
• Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the marriage.
• Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.
• When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a
bed.
• If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.
• If you value your marriage, don’t do lunch alone with an old flame.
• Don’t try to be cute or “flirty” with anyone other than your spouse.
• Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.
These wall may seem to restrictive to some who just read them. One example I think of is a girl who says I have a lot of different guy friend who have helped me out in my life and I don't want to lose the friendship.
This can be hard for people with opposite gender friends because it causes some separation to occur from close friends. There is great safety in this though because you have less of a chance to have occur what we call misattribution of arousal. If we connect with our most inner feelings with someone we can feel that we have a connection that could lead to intimacy. We also may try and help a friend who is going through a hard time and have the same thing happen. We can be good friends or or people in general and still make a mistake. It can happen to the best of us. That does not excuse one from being at fault.
In the scriptures we are commanded to cleave unto our spouse and none else. We may want friends of the opposite sex, want to keep the old friends we have, or even maintain old friendships. At what cost do we maintain these other relationships? At the cost of a loved one who has put their faith, trust, and love into us? Can we say we truly are obedient to God or our spouse if we don't cleave unto our spouse casting out the old flames, opposite sex friendships when our spouse isn't around and being faithful to the one we married can we say we truly love them?
It is my personal belief that we do make sacrifices when we marry. We lose certain close friendships so that we cleave unto our spouse. It isn't that we are mean people but our focus is on the second most important person of our life the first being God and the second being our spouse. The friends we have may not understand but one day they will as they find people to marry and cleave unto their spouse. Obedience and faithfulness to ones spouse is more important than a previous friendship. I hope you finished through all this and will take these principles and apply walls to safeguard your marriage.
Now the point is not to talk about Infidelity and the four types of affairs but to say how can we avoid these dangerous waters? Some may be thinking still but my spouse loves me and is faithful and won't do this. You are probably right they wont but it isn't impossible. So what are some steps we can take to protect our marriages? Let me first illustrate a story "A wise father recounted this story to his sons:
Once there were three men each trying to secure a job as a teamster (wagon driver). The freight company only wanted to have the very best drivers for their wagons, so they gave each potential driver a test. The test was to drive a wagon up a steep mountain road where one side of the road was a cliff. The first driver, eager to show his superior skills as a driver, drove the wagon up the road with the wheel of the wagon right on the edge of the cliff. The second driver was even more impressive; with great skill and dexterity he managed to drive the wagon up the road with half the wagon wheel teetering over the edge of the cliff! The third driver was not so talented and drove the wagon as far from the cliff as possible.
Who got the job? The third driver, of course.
With wagons as well as with marriages, the moral of the story is the same: If our cargo is truly precious (and it is), we will drive our wagon as far from the cliff as possible.
This story illustrates to us boundaries. The boundary was clear don't go off the cliff or you lose the cargo.
"Often we think that affairs primarily happen when spouses do not love each other enough, when the marriage is bad, when sexual intimacy is suffering, or when a more attractive alternative comes along. But affairs are not primarily about love, sex, or attraction, they are about boundaries; where we draw the line. Dr. Shirley Glass, in her book, Not "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal (2003), points out that affairs are more about boundaries than anything else."
So what are some of these wise walls? They are as follows
Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.
• Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative. This develops deep levels of intimacy.
• If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.
• Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the marriage.
• Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.
• When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a
bed.
• If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.
• If you value your marriage, don’t do lunch alone with an old flame.
• Don’t try to be cute or “flirty” with anyone other than your spouse.
• Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.
These wall may seem to restrictive to some who just read them. One example I think of is a girl who says I have a lot of different guy friend who have helped me out in my life and I don't want to lose the friendship.
This can be hard for people with opposite gender friends because it causes some separation to occur from close friends. There is great safety in this though because you have less of a chance to have occur what we call misattribution of arousal. If we connect with our most inner feelings with someone we can feel that we have a connection that could lead to intimacy. We also may try and help a friend who is going through a hard time and have the same thing happen. We can be good friends or or people in general and still make a mistake. It can happen to the best of us. That does not excuse one from being at fault.
In the scriptures we are commanded to cleave unto our spouse and none else. We may want friends of the opposite sex, want to keep the old friends we have, or even maintain old friendships. At what cost do we maintain these other relationships? At the cost of a loved one who has put their faith, trust, and love into us? Can we say we truly are obedient to God or our spouse if we don't cleave unto our spouse casting out the old flames, opposite sex friendships when our spouse isn't around and being faithful to the one we married can we say we truly love them?
It is my personal belief that we do make sacrifices when we marry. We lose certain close friendships so that we cleave unto our spouse. It isn't that we are mean people but our focus is on the second most important person of our life the first being God and the second being our spouse. The friends we have may not understand but one day they will as they find people to marry and cleave unto their spouse. Obedience and faithfulness to ones spouse is more important than a previous friendship. I hope you finished through all this and will take these principles and apply walls to safeguard your marriage.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Preparing For Marriage
In class we talked about preparing for marriage. One thing we talked about is the hanging out and hooking up culture that we have going on in society. This does occur a lot in our society and has caused issues in our society.
One of the best preparation's for marriage based on experience is just knowing how to date and what a date is supposed to be. A date should be planned, paid for and paired off. Those three things can help us be better prepared for marriage. In class we talked about how failure to do these things could show up later in a marriage and can help us know a little more about our future spouse. If you are just hooking up or hanging out your commitment doesn't exist and that is even more true of hooking up. If you get married from a simple hook up because you both feel it went somewhere who is to say you will stay with each other because you like the fun of hooking up and the commitment isn't there.
One of the best preparation's for marriage based on experience is just knowing how to date and what a date is supposed to be. A date should be planned, paid for and paired off. Those three things can help us be better prepared for marriage. In class we talked about how failure to do these things could show up later in a marriage and can help us know a little more about our future spouse. If you are just hooking up or hanging out your commitment doesn't exist and that is even more true of hooking up. If you get married from a simple hook up because you both feel it went somewhere who is to say you will stay with each other because you like the fun of hooking up and the commitment isn't there.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Family of Origin
Demographic Background
I come originally from a family with one sibling. I say
originally because I was a foster child from the ages of 12-14. My foster
parents became my legal guardians. So for that part of my life, I lived with my
biological sister and two other sisters from my foster family; they also have
an adult son who is married. In my family, from 12 years old and up, my dad
worked and my mom stayed at home. I grew up for most of my life in Kansas and then
we moved to Eagle River, Alaska. I feel that these factors had great influence
on me, especially the arrangement of living with my foster parents as my legal
guardians. My biological family, including extended which was mostly on my
mother’s side, included alcoholics, drug users, sexual abuse to my mother and
her sisters and a lot of the nasty terrible sins of the world. Had I continued
to be near those things, I may not have been as successful. While I would not
have done many of those things, such as drugs or sexual abuse, it does not mean
I would not have had the potential to be an alcoholic. This could have been a
problem, knowing a little history about my family.
My Family and the Proclamation
In my family there are four
things I can think of that are and were important to my upbringing. The four
things they followed from the Proclamation were “husband and wife have a
solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”,
they fulfilled their responsibility as a father and mother as stated in the proclamation,
they established principles necessary for a happy family life and our extended
family lent support when needed.
Love and
Care for Children
My legal guardians, whom I will refer to throughout the
remainder of this paper as dad and mom, did a really good job of abiding by the
principle to love and care for their children. Mom always taught us how to help
others and to have respect for other people. One of the lessons I learned was
to respect women. It was a lesson as simple as it is polite to hold the door
open for a woman. That has stuck with me for life and has been a blessing in my
marriage. They were both good about teaching us to be obedient to the law and
that we should follow the laws that are in place. Dad was good about providing
for the family. He was good about providing the experience of what work meant
or what it meant to be faithful or commandment keeping. One experience I had
was: we had been given tickets through the foster care agency for a baseball
game. I think by then I had already been baptized and we wanted to go. It was
on a Sunday though. He didn’t really seem like he wanted us to go. I am not
sure if we missed church; but, it is likely that we did. I remember that after
going it did not feel right. Maybe it was God, but more than likely it was
because Dad was right and we should not have gone.
From them, I was
able to learn that sometimes loving your children is making them feel unhappy
at the moment. They knew what was best and loved us. We as children just did not
see it because we thought it was not fair or that they did not love us. I think
because they allowed me to exercise my agency freely, I learned a lot from them.
I also saw how much they loved me by giving me a choice to go to a baseball
game and realizing then that I wanted to keep the Sabbath day holy.
Fulfilled Responsibility
as a Father and Mother.
To start off, Dad was always
very adamant that he provides for the family. He worked hard and spent a lot of
time away from family to do his job in the army. But to say that he just
provided financially would be an understatement and not true. He provided not
only financially, but he provided learning experiences, as well. I do not think
I can count the times he made the work for himself harder by teaching me
certain things. But, I can say now I am grateful. I learned a lot of different
things such as how to remodel or fix things around the house do plumbing. I
also learned a lot as dad provided things the family needed. He was also good
about protecting his family. Family means everything to him, from what I have
observed throughout my life. My mother was good about nurturing her family. Mom
always wanted us to be productive and do worthwhile things. We would do summer
reading programs and other various activities. She has always been good about
caring for those around her. She has a big heart and loves to do foster care
and take children in. I think if I learned anything from her, it was how to be
kind and giving toward other people.
Established Principles Necessary for a Happy Family Life.
“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles
of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and
wholesome recreational activities” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).
In my family, we had many opportunities to practice forgiveness and work. We
learned about forgiveness a lot, which is probably because of the things we
were failing to do right. One lesson I also learned that is not mentioned but
falls under the respect category is that of gratitude. We took mom for granted
at times. She took care of us, wanted what was best for us, made great home
cooked meals and the list could go on. One thing dad wanted us to do was be
more grateful and show our gratitude by saying thank you, but also by helping
do dishes and clear the table. Sometimes, I slacked in this area; but, I
realized it was important that I help clear the table and do dishes. Such a
simple task would save her time and give her more time to do other things. It
was also an easy way to show gratitude for dinner. This has helped me when I am
a guest at people’s homes. If I am a guest, I am now willing to do my dishes
and help out. I remember doing that several times as a missionary and telling
the family to sit down because the Elders were cleaning the dishes tonight. We
also participated in a lot of wholesome recreational activity. I would ride a
bike almost anytime I could, I loved riding horses and other activities we
participated in at different times of our lives. It was a great experience that
we had because Dad was able provide well for us and he had a love for horses.
Because of his ability to provide, our family was exposed to horses and some of
the responsibilities associated with them.
I would say these small things helped us to not be lazy or idle for too
long in our lives. A lot of times people do not get out enough and work is a
foreign idea to some people. I love that we had a lot of different fun
activities that blessed us to be closer as a family and that taught us the
value of work. I know in my life that working hard is key to me being able to
be a provider. He also taught me to be someone who is willing to do what it
takes to provide, no matter how boring or hard the job is at the time. If
anything, I want my children to have gratitude and have similar experiences to
mine so that they can learn and grow. I hope that I can have the finances to do
some of the things we did, so that my children will be exposed to some good
experiences that can teach them a lot. And I hope to be as good of a teacher as
my parents are.
Extended
Family Lends Support When Necessary
This is a small thing, but has had a big impact in my life.
Sometimes we think of support as maybe financial support or getting through a
hard family crisis. In my experience being a foster child with parents that
were my legal guardians, it is hard to establish what the relationship should
be for the parents. I say that because I speak from experience. I never can
remember hearing the words I love you or receiving a hug from my legal
guardians. They were not bad people; but, I think it is hard to know where the
boundary is and my birth father still had visitation rights for us. While it
may have been hard for them to know that boundary or I just missed the signs that
they loved me, I know now that they do indeed love and care about me and are proud
of me. What amazes me more is the support of their families in considering me
as a nephew or grandson or even a part of this family. This may seem weird but
what part do they play if they are not around in your life to experience your
growing up years? The great thing is that many of them have a love for me and
even though they do not know me they exemplify the example of Christ like
people. They have gotten to know me over time from meeting me once and from
hearing things about me from my parents. I am grateful for the support they
have given me and show to me.
In thinking about my family and the proclamation, my family
life may not have been perfect growing up and I may not have the perfect
biological family that lives a life in accordance with the proclamation. But, I
have a great second family who I have been able to consider my family for a
long time now. If I could change things, I would not. Without my family, their great examples of the
Proclamation, and the experiences I have had and continue to have with them I
would not be the man I am today.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Understanding a Piece of Same Sex Attraction
So I understand by the title that many of you are thinking, "Wow! This is such a heated big topic". I wish to talk about a piece of Same Sex Attraction. This isn't universal for everyone, but can help us understand a little about what is happening.
In my class this week, we talked about gender roles. What gender roles can you think of? When talking of men and women let us look at what once were traditional gender roles such as men go out and provide for your families, women stay home and take care of children. I am sure we know this list of differences. Now, lets look at children. Girls play with ponies, barbies, and anything pink. Boys wrestle, play with action figures, make toy guns and such. These are just some of the thing boys and girls may do differently. We can see that society plays a role in what we play with and how we act. Now, society isn't necessarily the only reason we have these roles. We must also take into account our biological make up or the biological differences between males and females.
We watched a video and I would recommend anyone watch this video called, "Understanding Same-Sex Attraction". In this video, men who are dealing with same sex attraction talk about how they felt like they didn't fit in with their gender. They had siblings that would put them down and make them feel separated from their gender. Caleb, in the video, talks about how he wasn't as fast as the other boys or as good at kicking as the other boys were. So, he decided not to play sports as much because it hurt. He felt distant. The video talks about fathers who were absent, personality differences between fathers and sons, and abusive fathers. So, their sons felt the need to connect with their fathers. This doesn't mean fathers are responsible. Caleb talks about another point the video makes as a contributing factor of Same-Sex Attraction. He says that he was molested by a male. Three of the men talk about their molestation by males.
The video gives a lot in thirty minutes about a wounded gender identity, bullying, attention from dad, mother confusion, and pornography. These things played a role in many of the men's lives and impacted their association with same sex attraction. The men talk about the healing they felt came when they felt valued by other men in ways that were not sexual. They felt that as their fellow male peers accepted them their masculinity increased and they began to feel the love or respect they deserved from other males.
I think the experience of these men is interesting and how they came into their feelings of same-sex attraction is intriguing. I also think it is important to state that, like the title says, it is just a piece of understanding the attraction. It would be wrong to say he suffers with same sex attraction, so he must have been this, this and this. We don't know everything.
What we should do is show them we care about them, treat them with respect, and love them as Christ would love them. There are many people who struggle with this as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If you are LDS and suffer with same sex attraction, this isn't here to offend you; but, we understand some of the things we do know about same-sex attraction. As many leaders of the church have talked about, the Atonement can heal everything. Come closer to Christ and he can help you. Many members that suffer with this do turn away and it sad but it doesn't have to be. There are resources out there and while it may not work for everyone God loves his children. I hope anyone reading this will not just throw it to the side and say it is garbage or that it isn't true. We can help by trying to understand the attraction. I don't want to go around fixing everyone who has struggles with same-sex attraction; but, I can have more compassion for people and realized that my actions can affect a way a person has those feelings. Again, the reasons I have talked about are not true of everyone; but, they do show us some interesting things.
In my class this week, we talked about gender roles. What gender roles can you think of? When talking of men and women let us look at what once were traditional gender roles such as men go out and provide for your families, women stay home and take care of children. I am sure we know this list of differences. Now, lets look at children. Girls play with ponies, barbies, and anything pink. Boys wrestle, play with action figures, make toy guns and such. These are just some of the thing boys and girls may do differently. We can see that society plays a role in what we play with and how we act. Now, society isn't necessarily the only reason we have these roles. We must also take into account our biological make up or the biological differences between males and females.
We watched a video and I would recommend anyone watch this video called, "Understanding Same-Sex Attraction". In this video, men who are dealing with same sex attraction talk about how they felt like they didn't fit in with their gender. They had siblings that would put them down and make them feel separated from their gender. Caleb, in the video, talks about how he wasn't as fast as the other boys or as good at kicking as the other boys were. So, he decided not to play sports as much because it hurt. He felt distant. The video talks about fathers who were absent, personality differences between fathers and sons, and abusive fathers. So, their sons felt the need to connect with their fathers. This doesn't mean fathers are responsible. Caleb talks about another point the video makes as a contributing factor of Same-Sex Attraction. He says that he was molested by a male. Three of the men talk about their molestation by males.
The video gives a lot in thirty minutes about a wounded gender identity, bullying, attention from dad, mother confusion, and pornography. These things played a role in many of the men's lives and impacted their association with same sex attraction. The men talk about the healing they felt came when they felt valued by other men in ways that were not sexual. They felt that as their fellow male peers accepted them their masculinity increased and they began to feel the love or respect they deserved from other males.
I think the experience of these men is interesting and how they came into their feelings of same-sex attraction is intriguing. I also think it is important to state that, like the title says, it is just a piece of understanding the attraction. It would be wrong to say he suffers with same sex attraction, so he must have been this, this and this. We don't know everything.
What we should do is show them we care about them, treat them with respect, and love them as Christ would love them. There are many people who struggle with this as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If you are LDS and suffer with same sex attraction, this isn't here to offend you; but, we understand some of the things we do know about same-sex attraction. As many leaders of the church have talked about, the Atonement can heal everything. Come closer to Christ and he can help you. Many members that suffer with this do turn away and it sad but it doesn't have to be. There are resources out there and while it may not work for everyone God loves his children. I hope anyone reading this will not just throw it to the side and say it is garbage or that it isn't true. We can help by trying to understand the attraction. I don't want to go around fixing everyone who has struggles with same-sex attraction; but, I can have more compassion for people and realized that my actions can affect a way a person has those feelings. Again, the reasons I have talked about are not true of everyone; but, they do show us some interesting things.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Family Culture
Culture actually can be quite simple and yet so complex. It is as simple as our beliefs and values. Culture can be that of hard work, respect for others, charity, and etc. Culture is more than just celebrating certain holidays or doing things differently. Such a simple word means so much. I would pose to my readers, do you feel all cultures are equally valid? What are your thoughts and impressions. I want to hear from you and maybe even answer some questions to the best of my abilities. Do you, think all cultures are equally valid? If so, why? If not, why do you feel that way?
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Changes in the Family Unit
One of the homework assignments that I had the opportunity to view was from Everybody Loves Raymond-The Gift. That was fun and enjoyable for sure. The episode is Raymond's father's 65th birthday. It is one of those, you may consider, milestone birthdays. In Raymond's family they don't give his father gifts because he isn't a big fan of them. Unfortunately, he is unaware that he should get a gift for his father's 65th birthday. So, his mother and brother have gifts for him. Then, the episode continues and he feels guilty that he didn't buy a gift. So, he buys him an aquarium and one of the fishes die. Raymond thinks his father feels upset because it reminds him that he will die one day. Raymond learns that his father is upset that Raymond does so well with his life, can afford the huge aquarium, and the 40 dollars to replace a fish. By the end, the problems are resolved.
In that episode, we learn two things about their family system. The first rule is that no one buys dad a gift for his birthday. Unfortunately, Raymond didn't realize he needed a gift because of this long standing rule and that starts the problem in the episode. Second, we learn his father has a hard time not being able to afford the things his son can. This may be because his father would never have bought such a fancy gift or would have had that kind of money to spend. We also learn that when he does get a gift he wants it to be simple and affordable. So, big gifts like an aquarium may not be such a good idea.
One thing I hope that you can gain from this example is that in our family life we have to be willing to adapt and change. As we grow older, rules and the things that happened in our developing years will change. All families will face this as children get older and move away from home. A younger brother may feel when his older brother leaves it is his job now to be his sisters' big brother and protect them. The roles in family change and so do the rules. We have to remember to be patient with one another and forgiving as we try to learn our new roles, as things change, or as a family member doesn't catch on or know yet that things changed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)