It isn't always an easy thing either for the spouse with the children which in most cases is the mother. This can change how she dates and other thing in her life. We had an experience that was shared in class about a man who had married a woman who had been divorced and the impact that his had on his life. There were times it was hard for him and there were many new things that needed to be learned.
When we as the outside source come in we are changing this family system especially if we are marrying say the wife who has been divorce from her husband. Now this new man comes in but he is going to play some roles that have been reassigned. This will take away the close relatives from the system and will have readjustment.
Why is some of this information important I have just mentioned? It is important because if you are in this situation or going to be in the situation of being this person who enters the family system you will want to tread with some caution. Don't be so quick to parent the children that you get in so fast that you create distance from the children which can create distance from your wife. When you are in a comfortable situation leave some of the heavy discipline to her. This isn't because you are not capable but that it will help the relationship with the children. Remember you are entering in and need to respect the relationships that are their and you will be creating the relationship with the children and need to tread with some caution.
These were just a few things we talked about the last week that I thought were important. Hopefully this helps you if you are going into this situation or found someone you love that is in this situation of divorce.
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