Parenting

     This week I am talking about a sensitive topic. Parenting. A lot of people do it and a lot of people think they know how best to do it. At least I think that is what people think. But today I am going to talk about three different parenting styles and how only one style is the best method for parenting. Now some of you reading will say you aren't a dad and you have never parented. I will give you that. But I have received parenting in at least two of the different styles. I noticed a difference and also happens to go well with the research out there. The three parenting styles are authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Which of these is the best? What are these styles? Today I hope to answer these two questions

Authoritarian- This style is very dictator like. It is very firm parenting and many parents have done this parenting for years. A lot of children turned out fine. But just as Elder Oaks said there is a good, better and best to things. He didn't say anything about this parenting but I would say for people before this is good but not best. Example I will give is that your child is late coming home. How would you react? Pause and think about it for a second as I explain what the authoritarian parent will do. He or she will yell or be very angry that the child is out past their curfew. they may say things like you are never leaving this house, or you can never see these friends and will not listen to what the child says because well they are the parent and they are right. Now if this is you don't feel I hate you or your parenting style but there is a better way. The next parenting style I talk about will probably make you feel like a better parent anyway. But the last one I hope helps you become better.

Permissive. This one you may care about what your child does but you aren't really wanting to step up to the plate and cause contention maybe or want your child to learn it on their own.
The example I use will be similar. You are in bed in hear your child come in 30 minutes after their curfew. You go to sleep and the next day you talk to your spouse about how you heard your child was late coming in last night. You both are concerned why he is coming in late but don't want to push the issue or think maybe just something happened and just hope things are okay. So if this is you don't think I feel you don't love your children I know you do. There just needs to be a better way. Authoritarian parents you probably think these parents are push overs and need some of your technique or at least feel better that you are doing a little more.

We come now to the last method and best way to parent a child. If you don't like this method then I am shocked you made it this far but alas I will tell you it is
Authoritative- This parenting is more of a democracy method. Let me share an example. So back to the first example. Your child comes home past curfew. You hear the car pull in and meet him over to the garage. You tell your child that it is late and past their curfew and that in the morning you will discuss with them about it in the morning. Morning happens and as parents you sit down with your child. You may ask  him why he is late and he says I just didn't realize the time. You then explain that you all had discussed a curfew and had agreed that on weekends that midnight was an acceptable curfew. You may even explain that the reason is for their safety as well as for you to know where they are at. You understand they may have not looked at the time but because they haven't come back when was established that they are not able to use the car the next couple of weekends.
So this may sound easy and some of you may say well we tried that or that sounds to simple. I'm sure you may get some back talk but you did discuss with your child a curfew and that arguing is not getting them the car back. There are consequences to the actions. This method helps teach children one of life's great lessons for every choice there is a consequence whether it is good or bad.
     I hope this helps and you don't think I hate you if you are not parenting the last way. I feel the last way is the best method. Before you knock it how about you try it. It may not go smooth but it will go better.