Why Marriage between a Man and Woman?

I was reading an article recently from Elder D. Todd Christofferson a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Titled "Why Marriage, Why Family" In the article he starts off with a story about the 10 Christian martyrs of the 20th Century. He talks about one in particular by the name of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Who was a writer and some of his best papers were published as Letters and Papers from Prison. The one he shares in his story is a letter to Bonhoeffer's niece. It included these significant insights:

     “Marriage is more than your love for each other. … In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom. In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal—
it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule,that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man. … So love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God."

     As I started reading this article and saw this story about marriage being an office or the crown that makes the king. Bonhoeffer helps us see that marriage is from above, from God. Your love comes from you but marriage is more than just something earthly. This is why marriage is between a man and a woman. That is the way God intended marriage to be in this life and into the eternities.

President Hinckley gave a talk In General Conference in October 1999 titled Why We Do Some of the Things we Do In his talk he touches on Gay marriage. Remember this is only 16 years before the Supreme Court ruling but nevertheless a warning he gives to us. He says: "God-sanctioned marriage between a man and a woman has been the basis of civilization for thousands of years. There is no justification to redefine what marriage is. Such is not our right, and those who try will find themselves answerable to God.

Some portray legalization of so-called same-sex marriage as a civil right. This is not a matter of civil rights; it is a matter of morality."

I love that I found this quote by Gordon B. Hinckley and it expresses my belief that marriage has been the basis of civilization for thousands of years. Many say it is a civil right but President Hinckley tells us this is a morality issue.

     Never mind that many of us in our lifetime just saw the redefinition of marriage and the basis of all civilization that we know. It wasn't long ago that many if not all of us disagreed with this popular trend that is occurring of political correctness and changing of society's main beliefs and views. Now don't misunderstand that I do not have any respect for people with a different sexual orientation. I respect them and believe they have certain rights. I am grateful that in Utah the church has fought for the LGBT community to have rights to housing, employment and other rights that we deserve. But marriage is not our right to redefine. It is something given from God and is of an Eternal nature. We can not change the Eternal nature of God given blessings on earth. As President Hinckley says those who tried and actually succeeded in changing this law will be answerable to God. 

     Elder Christofferson continues with another great insight in his talk. He says:A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God’s plan to thrive—the setting for the birth of children, who come in purity and innocence from God, and the environment for the learning and preparation they will need for a successful mortal life and eternal life in the world to come. A critical mass of families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish. That is why communities and nations generally have encouraged and protected marriage and the family as privileged institutions. It has never been just about the love and happiness of adults. Another reason why marriage is for a man and woman is shown in this quote from his talk that Marriage has never been about just the love and happiness of adults.

     We learn from this quote that marriage is actually selfless and not selfish. We should marry because we love each other but it is about birthing and raising families centered in God. 

So from the things I learned in this talk I was able to  pull 3 things out from my study. 

1. Marriage is of God and is given by him, 

2.Marriage between a man and woman is a morality thing and not a civil right that I enjoy

3. Marriage is a selfless act and not just a selfish thing we do out of love but is the creation of a family.

     I know marriage is suppose to be between a one man and one woman. It is where families can succeed in this setting and marriage is given of God and cannot be changed no matter what society thinks. I hope that no one takes this message to mean that I dislike those who are for Gay marriage. I believe that they still deserve respect and certain rights. I know that marriage is not a right that can be given of man but can only be given by God. Marriage is an Eternal principle that cannot be changed. What can be changed is how we as a society treat our brothers and sisters of this life. We must treat everyone with kindness. Just as a loving parent loves their child it doesn't mean that they support everything they do. We can love those who believe differently but not support there decisions. We may not even be able to change their belief or views on this but we can be a friend to them. That is my hope that we love everyone.