Changes in the Family Unit

     One of the things, in my studies, that I was able to learn was about the changes within our family system or unit. In my Family 160 class we talked about different theories and how they affect that family system.
     One of the homework assignments that I had the opportunity to view was from Everybody Loves Raymond-The Gift. That was fun and enjoyable for sure. The episode is Raymond's father's 65th birthday. It is one of those, you may consider, milestone birthdays. In Raymond's family they don't give his father gifts because he isn't a big fan of them. Unfortunately, he is unaware that he should get a gift for his father's 65th birthday. So, his mother and brother have gifts for him. Then, the episode continues and he feels guilty that he didn't buy a gift. So, he buys him an aquarium and one of the fishes die. Raymond thinks his father feels upset because it reminds him that he will die one day. Raymond learns that his father is upset that Raymond does so well with his life, can afford the huge aquarium, and the 40 dollars to replace a fish. By the end, the problems are resolved.
     In that episode, we learn two things about their family system. The first rule is that no one buys dad a gift for his birthday. Unfortunately, Raymond didn't realize he needed a gift because of this long standing rule and that starts the problem in the episode. Second, we learn his father has a hard time not being able to afford the things his son can. This may be because his father would never have bought such a fancy gift or would have had that kind of money to spend. We also learn that when he does get a gift he wants it to be simple and affordable. So, big gifts like an aquarium may not be such a good idea.
     One thing I hope that you can gain from this example is that in our family life we have to be willing to adapt and change. As we grow older, rules and the things that happened in our developing years will change. All families will face this as children get older and move away from home. A younger brother may feel when his older brother leaves it is his job now to be his sisters' big brother and protect them. The roles in family change and so do the rules. We have to remember to be patient with one another and forgiving as we try to learn our new roles, as things change, or as a family member doesn't catch on or know yet that things changed.